Personal story telling pivotal to building strong working relationships

Everyone has a story to tell but how does knowing their stories help build solid working relationships?

What’s your story?  What do you know of the stories of other people who work with you or for you?  Does story telling help you deal with conflict or does it hinder you in a conflict situation and cause increased stress? 

Your own story has determined how you view the world and how you work and play within it.  Your story impacts on your relationships at work and at home.

My recent “story telling” experience in a workplace

Recently I undertook a project where I proactively approached people and spoke to them, asking them to share their stories with me. These conversations did not take a long time, but they all followed a similar pattern. 

I introduced myself, told them the purpose of my visit and then asked them to share their stories with me. Initially they seemed hesitant but after a minute or two they began speaking to me and sharing.  The more they shared the more relaxed they became. By the time I said my goodbyes, thanked them and left, the majority of them thanked me for taking the time and told me that no one had ever knocked on their doors to ask what they had to say?

This is often the type of feedback I receive when I have conversations with people in a conflict situation. They openly share with me that the opportunity to speak to an independent person about what is challenging them, provides an element of relief they have not experienced in a while. 

People just want someone to listen to them.  Some of them find that the experience enables them to view the situation more calmly and to start working towards strategies for resolving issues and conflict even before we get to the next steps.

How vital is it to provide your staff with an avenue to speak openly?

It is becoming more common for businesses to call on an external conflict resolution consultant or mediator to assist in protracted workplace conflict matters. Part of the process of a mediation or facilitation is to sit down and have a confidential discussion with people before determining whether a matter is appropriate for progression to a joint mediation session.

Often, that simple process of enabling open conversation in a safe environment, is the catalyst to resolution of workplace conflict.

At times there are other mechanisms or processes that may be more appropriate or need to be set in place before people can participate in a joint mediation. This is the value a good mediator brings to the table, the ability to listen and to give independent assistance and advice to help all parties achieve a constructive outcome.

As a leader or manager of a team, it is often the case that we ignore differences or conflict between team members in the hope that it will just “go away”. Unfortunately, this seldom happens. 

An investment in time to get to know your team and their stories will provide a great return on your investment in dealing with conflict before it becomes expensive and problematic for your business.  Taking the time to gain an understanding of others by listening to their stories builds trust in you as a leader or manager. 

Don’t wait until there is conflict. Take the time to build strong working relationships now. Just as important is understanding your own story and how that affects you as a leader.

Want to know more about how we work and how can help you and your business? Contact Blackforrest Consulting today.

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